Excerpt from Tricky's Upcoming Book: The Keys To Driving Your Parents Insane Are In Your Chubby Little Hand

#386
Clever Ruse For Making Mummy Come When I Am Meant To Be Having A Nap.

1. Peel off one sock. Now peel off other sock.

2. Throw socks over edge of cot. Try to make one land on the heater and one mysteriously disappear under the chair.

3. Now call loudly: Mummy! Socks Gone! Socks Gone!

4. When Mummy comes into bedroom heaving heavy sigh of the hard done by, smile winningly.

5. While Mummy is scouring floor for socks say Get up now. Mummy will say Sleepytime, make with the shushing noises, replace socks on feet and attempt to wrap doona round your body. Resist and instead call for teddy: Bramwell Brown
Louder: BRAMWELL BROWN! Try to inject a note of hysteria.

6. Mummy, now making irritable huffy noises, finds Bramwell Brown and puts it in cot.

7. Stare in surprise at Bramwell Brown, pick him up and wave at Mummy saying No!
When Mummy says in exasperated voice But you said you wanted Bramwell Brown, screw up your eyes and chant: put it away, put it away.

8. Mummy will snatch Bramwell Brown away. If possible call loudly for Rabbit, Sleepy Bear or BoBo. Repeat step 7 above until Mummy exits room calling for stiff drink and saying she doesn’t care that it’s only 1pm.

9. Wait 30 seconds then repeat all as above.