Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Once Was Wireless

ARRGGH! This is the sound of someone tearing out their hair after a full month of dial-up. What kind of third world banana republic do I live in? How can I blog freely and easily when I have to unclip the thing from the phone, stick it in the thing hole in the side of my computer and then wait for a connection to be made? There are toddlers to be chased. Interviews to do. Toddlers to be chased etc etc.

This means that many moons have passed since I last wrote (including that freaky red lunar eclipse) and a multitude of small yet bloggable events have occurred most of which have slipped porridge-like through my fingers.

But, basically....

EVIL SHOPPING PLAZA MULTI NATIONAL SHOE SHOP: 1
CLUELESS IDIOT PARENTS OF TINY WALKING ZOMBIE: 0

Sandals? Wrong, all wrong.

Tiny baby feet that have begun to take cute tottery little steps are soft and innocent and unformed. They must be shod not with hard-soled buckle on sandals but with similarly soft, innocent and unformed leather type booties that allow said little feet to develop naturally.

Tricky managed to wear his Evil Sandals for one day before we got the news about the squashy soft type shoe. C and I sat in a cafe for a full hour in a little town in the country and fretted about arch support and ugly spade like hobbit-feet before we realised that the cafe was next door to a hippie shoe shop. Hippie Lady in shop was all about releasing and unfettering the feet and cloaking them only in soft unformed leather shoelets. I believe she may hold similar attitude towards bosoms.

FATHERS DAY MAKES MOTHER'S NIGHT

The difference between this year's Father's day and last year's was all in the shopping. Tricky was with me during the crucial five minutes I had to dash into a bookshop while C was getting ready for a presentation in town.

Unsurprisingly, as a 13 month toddler, Tricky is a wee tad heavy as compared to last year's morsel of scrawny baby goodness. Also he wanted to try out his new soft unfettered-foot shoes. Sadly this meant he was inspired similarly to unfetter all the books in the book store.
Bad shelves. Bad nasty restrictive shelves. Be free, humourous travel book! Take wing, o witty volume of domestic poetry.

The upshot of all this tottering and snatching at shelves and me oopsing and reshelving was that I had to carry him in one arm as I made my dash from book to card to till. I thought about this late on the night before Father's day as I spent valuable Minutes That Could Be Sleeping measuring and cutting down the Father's day card I had bought because I had inadvertantly picked up the stupid buggery bum wrong size envelope.

TONIGHT:
BOOK LAUNCHES.
AUTHOR LURCHES.

I have done a few interviews for the book now and I think that possibility I'm getting the hang of it.

For instance I have now learned that when one laughs ironically about those far off days of free love when your biggest fear was, say, getting pregnant, one should not in the same breath refer to highschool. Then, when one notes the slightly aghast expression on radio interviewer's face, one should not compound one's blunder by saying hastily: "actually when I said highschool, what I actually meant was university or my early twenties," and then follow this unconvincing bit of bollocks up by hysterical nervous laughter.

Tonight is the Sydney launch and I have to say, I feel a bit sort of... nervous. There's been a lot of good feedback and some very kind emails and comments so, you know, fingers crossed...

6 comments:

MsPrufrock said...

Most of your blog posts resonate with me, as your Tricky tales are almost always exactly what we're going through with P.

The shoe thing? I've had two days of drama over her first pair of damn shoes. I dropped P off at nursery the other day in socks, and as they were playing outside it was not a very good situation. I frantically went out that night and bought her a pair of Clarks from their "First Shoes" line, but even then I feel like her feet are restricted. The leather bootie thing is probably a no-no, as this is England. Rain, damp, cold. All that great stuff.

Sadly, I could go on and on about baby shoes and baby feet. Lame.

Good luck at the launch. I'm sure you'll be fine!

LL said...

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't forget to launch in Melb...

Lin said...

Please release me let me go... for some it's all about tits and feets and what nots. Whatever works best for Master Tricky is best. Probably the soft ones for a month or so until he tears them to shreds and he moves into Crocs or something equally as easy to on/off.

Have fun in the big city...I'm on dial up just now (stooopid bloody canyon connection) and not bloody posting, miserable summertime cow that I am.

xoxoxo

Nico said...

Okay it's really horrible of me, but I almost snorted my drink out of my nose reading about your interview!

Ant also loves pulling anything out of anything else, so I can only imagine the detritus left behind in a bookstore!

Spanglish said...

Toddlers and Teenagers -- same beast, different body.

shalini akhil said...

how did it go?
and yes! must have melb launch. please?