Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Ovagirl’s Tips for Helping You and Your Baby Sleep.


#32 Try Putting A Toy In Baby’s Cot For Him To Find In The Morning.


Somewhere near the crack of dawn when you are desperate for just ten minutes more sleep and you can hear that your baby is starting to wake, it may occur to you to sneak into baby’s room and lob a couple of toys over the side of the cot without being seen, thus cunningly distracting him and providing potentially even half an hour of quiet amusement while you sneak back to bed.


This is not a good idea.


This is in fact, a stunningly bad idea, especially if you are half asleep yourself and pay no mind to the weight or size of the toys you are lobbing into the cot.


From bitter experience I can assure you that even a small stripey monkey with a little jingly thing in its tummy falling unexpectedly from the sky will cause sudden terror, and ensure the rapid progression of your offspring from slightly whingy baby to full blown Screaming Tomato.

Monkeys. Light. Stripey. Not Suitable For Cot lobbing.

11 comments:

Trevor said...

Yes, we read that great piece of advice as well...

In addition to a couple of cuddly toys (with bells in) we were even given some 'cot-toys' to help the kids amuse themselves.

Chuckling and giggling to each other in anticipation of the great sleep-ins we were soon to get, we placed the toys, like precious gems, in each cot.

Next morning we were awoken by the usual cries and braced ourselves for the day's onslaught, and then...silence. Followed by cute little coos of excitement and interest, quickly followed by not so cute yelps of genuine joy when they discovered the toys make noise.

So now we are not woken by the sound of crying, but can instead look forward to being wrenched from sleep by banging, beeping, tweeting, whistling and screeching, like a hundred cheap novelty alarm clocks having a wild party.

Ah, bliss.

ovagirl said...

Mmm yes. And I bow my head to your experience trevor as I am well aware that you are getting THREE TIMES THE FUN!

(Is it possible to disembowel said toys?)

Trevor said...

I have a mate who - whenever his daughter asks him to replace the batteries in a toy - explains, very sadly, that he can't because 'They don't make that type of battery any more, sorry honey'

He is my hero.

(oh, and I don't know about Tricky, but Jonty's first impulse is certainly to disembowel, tear apart, break, dismember or otherwise destroy anything he gets his hands on. I like to think it's curiosity, and that he will grow-up to be an engineer or scientist - rather than that he is destined for a career as a professional vandal)

((Any updates on the book?))

LabiaLady said...

We've tried putting books in the cot... but listening to them fall to the floor from a great height through the baby monitor one after the other... thump... thump... thump... ends all thoughts of futher slumber

LabiaLady said...

errr... make that "further slumber"

Ashley said...

Hilarious! I added this post to my new site, Mommy Blog Round Up, a daily showcase of the best mommy blog posts on the web. Please let me know if you object!

Nico said...

I am giggling hysterically!! I've actually been thinking about putting some toys in Ant's crib... but he seems to manage to entertain himself reasonably well now, so after reading this post and the comments, I think I'll hold off!

lucky #2 said...

OMG that had me crying from laughing so hard. That would be scary as hell to have a toy appear from the heavens!

My daughter has had two small stuffed animals in her bed for the past two months for that reason. The one is a duck with a rattle and there are times in the middle of the night when I hear her shaking it around, but then she goes back to sleep. In the morning, she frequently has one of them in her hand when I finally go in to get her. Not sure if it gets me any more sleep time, but I like to think that it does!

Spanglish said...

The same goes for dogs -- but not the crib or panic bit.

Lin said...

And another thing...the bumper guard you lovingly tie around the crib so baby doesn't bruise himself by flinging wee chubby arms into the slats in the middle of the night...that bumper guard can be used as a step up (and eventually out) of the crib. So, when you see Baby beginning to stand on the bumper, it's time to remove it. Take it from experience. It's an odd feeling to find your baby on the floor howling instead of in her crib.

FiestyKel said...

I've not read much the last 12 months or so, but I do love your blog. Wanted to wish little one a happy birthday for the upcoming big day - what a milestone! Enjoy!