Saturday, April 28, 2007

You'll Never Walk Alone


So there I was standing around at a function and amidst all the serious discussion of Art and Culture, three of us grabbed a drink and peeled off to form our own discussion group.

It’s the broken sleep, one girl said and we all nodded and cradled our precious precious glasses of white wine. But it does get better, she added and we all brightened a little.

It really throws your body around, I said, it took me months to get over it. In fact I’m still not over it, I’m still not like I was before I was pregnant.

We all sighed at the truth of this and sipped at our wine and then as if at an unspoken command we put down our glasses and surreptitiously lifted our shirts to compare pouchy stomachs.
But I think most of all, it’s the sex that suffers, said the third girl and we all groaned and our faces dropped and we drained our glasses and looked around urgently for a refill.
But it’s worse for me, she added. Because my girlfriend and I were together for nine years before the baby was born so we were already suffering from Lesbian Bed Death and now it’s a hundred times worse.

There was an odd silence as the drinks waiter appeared at our shoulders and caught these last few words.

Fill her glass first, I said.

9 comments:

Nico said...

A) Yes, yes, yes.

B) I can only imagine the look on the waiter's face. Too funny.

C) Your response made me cackle!

LL said...

... and fill it to the TOP!...

lol

Urban Chick said...

"lesbian death sex"

sounds worse than the plague

(i hope it was fortified wine)

cat said...

*snort* with laughter

charlie's mom said...

Ha ha!

I'm still searching around for something positive about post baby sex though...

Mony said...

Ahh!
...I thought Lesbians would have a deeper understanding and appreciation for "Not Tonight Dear!"

lucky #2 said...

Hysterical!

Anonymous said...

I think you mean "lesbian bed death."

UC - your plague comment makes you sound homophobic. and that's no fun.

Anonymous said...

I have just emailed my mate from that night and she says yes! Lesbian Bed Death NOT Lesbian Death Sex. Obviously a combination of the noisy room and my own situation! Thanks for pointing this out Anonymous. I think UC priobably would have commented differently ifI had used the right term, so that's my fault too.

cheers!